What's Wrong? How to Handle Aggression in Your Child (For Parents and Teachers)

"Good morning Cindy." "Why you telling me Good Morning? There's nothing good about it!" That's what I was once greeted with when I said good morning to a student. Although this student has said similar and worse things to me, I did not get angry or annoyed because I was aware of the problems she was having at home. Children aren't really good at hiding their true feelings. When they are happy, children are radiant and glow. When kids are sad their whole personality changes. If you are an adult who works with a child you've probably noticed this. Children should be seen as baby plants. They are extremely fragile and should be handled with care. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with aggressive children.

1) Remain calm at all times. Refrain from raising your voice. Since you as an adult don't like to be yelled at, hold off from raising your voice at kids. It usually tends to make the situation worse. As the saying goes misery loves company and children who are upset will scapegoat their anger on whoever comes by- especially an adult who is yelling at them.

2) Get personal with the child. Sit down with the child and try to find out what's going on. Some questions you can ask them are "What's wrong? Is there anything that I can do to help you feel better? Do you want to talk to someone else about what's going on? Do you want to be left alone?"

3) Remind the child in a calm manner of their responsibility to be respectful. You could say "I'm sorry that you're feeling sad right now, but remember that I am here to help you. So if you work with me I can work with you. Ok? The last thing that kids want is to be talked to in an unpleasant tone when they are angry. So if you keep your tone low you'll help calm down the child.

4) Talk to the child in private. If the child acts out in public whether at school or home deal with the situation when you have time to talk alone with the child. Trying to deal with the situation in front of other people may only make the situation worse as the child may think that you're trying to embarrass them.

5) Reassure the child. Let the child know that although things may be bad now but that they will get better. In addition let them know that you will he there to help them in whichever way you can. Everyone likes to feel reassured, especially children who feel like they're all alone and no one understands them.

The roots of childhood aggression vary as widely as there are children. However, it we as adults take the time to understand our kids, we can see them through their hard times.




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